Jerks come in all shapes and sizes.
Even the best leaders may not realize they’re sometimes a jerk at work.
Of course, we aren’t saying you’re a jerk. What we’re saying is that every person at work — colleagues , bosses, employees and clients — have different definitions of jerks. And some of our own behaviors might fall in line with others’ views of a jerk at work.
Then there’s a possibility that you might manage a jerk at work. And it’s almost certain that you have a colleague, client or — wait for it — boss who’s a jerk at work.
Dealing with a Jerk at Work
Bottom line, just about everyone has to deal with a jerk at work. And some of us might have to curb some of our own habits to reel in the what others see as jerk behaviors.
“Even well-intentioned bosses often don’t know how to handle office jerks,” says Tessa West, in her book Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them. “But most of us can handle problems at work if we can predict them and then strategize what to do.”
Here’s the good news: West has dug deep into the science of jerks at work, and identified the worst offenders and the best ways to deal with them — or even temper any of our own tendencies to be that person.
“No matter how educated you are or what your job title is, you can fall victim to a jerk at work,” says West. “Spending time in the workplace does not necessarily translate to having better conflict management skills.”
And if you’re wondering if you fit any of these descriptions — or want to avoid ever being like any of them — take West’s test to see if you have an jerk tendencies.
Here are the six worst jerks.
1. The Bulldozer
They’re well-connected and aren’t afraid to flex muscles. They use those muscles to take over how things are done and decided within their groups. They also use fear and intimidation to get what they want from colleagues, bosses and direct reports.
Handle them: Practice “holding the floor” when dealing with Bulldozers. Get input and opinions from everyone involved in the project on the team to signal that you work with a variety of views. Encourage everyone to voice their thoughts throughout a project or process. And if you have any bulldozing tendencies, practice holding your thoughts in group meetings until everyone has spoken — then briefly cover anything you feel wasn’t. There’s a good chance that if you let others speak, they’ll come to the same conclusions you have — or they’ll open your eyes to other options.
2. The Kisser/Kicker
The Kiss Up/Kick Downer wants to climb to the top, treating others as the competition. They aim to gain the approval from higher-ups at any cost. That includes tossing co-workers and allies to the side as they climb.
Handle them: Find other victims to confirm the problem is widespread, especially if this kind of behavior is reported to management. Then either use the evidence – incidents, dates, places and how the behavior affects others – to address the situation with the employee. If you want to avoid being a Kiss Up or Kick Down, check in with trusted colleagues. Ask if they see or hear about you and those behaviors.
3. The Credit Stealer
These jerks act like a friend, but betray and steal credit for everything good – such as ideas, work and contributions – to better themselves. Even worse, they cover their tracks well. So they’ll hide their bad behaviors and the actual good work colleagues do.
Handle them: When it’s a colleague, use your voice and track record to highlight your individual contributions. You don’t have to brag. Say what you’ve done or will do before your thunder is stolen. To avoid being the credit stealer, follow the golden rule of leadership: Share credit for all successes and take responsibility for losses.
4. The Free Rider
They’re experts at doing the minimum – or nothing – and getting rewarded for it. They step up for important work that requires more oversight and less effort. Their secret to the ruse: They’re well-liked and friendly, making it difficult for others to call them out.
Handle them: Do a regular fairness check for workflows – for your teams and yourself. When you make workflows public, Free Riders will be outed. This tip helps weed out any tendencies a leader might have toward free riding.
5. The Micromanager
This could be your boss or a manipulative colleague or employee. They’re impatient and disrespect your time and space. They monitor time and behavior that’s none of their business.
Handle them: If it’s your boss, you’ll need to confront it. Talk about aligning big picture goals with your duties. For colleagues or employees, put up physical barriers – such as Do Not Disturb signs – and electronic barriers – do not disturb on communication apps. Offer limited – or no – status updates. And finally, if it could be you, ask your employees to call it out. Then step aside!
6. The Gaslighter
They’re grand-scale liars. They might isolate their victims and slowly build the altered reality they want believed. They might use the victim’s vulnerabilities to help them steal or cheat. You want to keep an eye out for these jerks who do this to vulnerable employees because those are the people who would not likely bring it to anyone’s attention.
Handle them: Find and rely on new allies. Help employees who are victims to align with better co-workers, too. The Gaslighter tries to socially isolate victims so they believe the altered reality. Check in with others you trust to decide what’s good and true. And check in on apparent victims to be sure they stay away from Gaslighters. This is difficult for people to self-regulate. It’s another instance where you’ll want to work with a trusted colleague to be certain you don’t have any of these tendencies.
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